Gratitude and A Positive Mental Attitude.
It's getting thinner everyday. My Patience, not my body. Only I do wish I had more patience, not fat on my body. Is it just me? Or is there some way I can learn to be less in a hurry. I don't understand why I have am in a rush---but the fact my doctor upped my Prozac may mean it can be controlled. Oh my brain! It's such a confusing animal.
Yesterday, as I put the key in the car ignition and turned on my care--it did nothing. Nothing. No clicks, no voom, voom. My car was dead--but my cousins and neighbors took care of me. So, today I am so thankful for Terri my next door neighbor who used her car and Molly, my up the street neighbor who lent me her jumper cables--and my cousins Dick (he's not) and Deenie for driving me to and from work. It may take a village and I'm glad my village contains these people. Thank YOU!!!!
The best way to start using the Law of Attraction is to be grateful. Today, Im grateful for the sun and the cool heat (not to hot, not to cold) and my porch. Im also grateful for electricity, tea and artificial light. Thank you! Im also grateful for the my bed that I sink into after a long day, and the perfect pillows I have that make me love waking up in the morning.
Im also thankful for all the blessings that have come my way this week. I was given a talking to by my cousin and told to re-read my book, Survival in the Unemployment Line. I give great advice and am taking to heart now.
Today, I am getting rid of winter and allowing spring and summer to wash over me---as I organize and clean my home-which I am also grateful for. I love my office with it's orange accents and desk in the middle of the room. I also am so grateful for the purple chair (Yes, I love bright colors--although I usually wear only black on my body).
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
The snow from my lawn is finally gone and I see the sunlight and shadows through the window from my office. It is so nice to finally see the sun and all it's glory--it just makes me smile. I went to Church yesterday and the people who greeted me with smiles, hugs and kisses made my heart soar. In fact, I may actually make it more than a yearly event. Every good Christian tries to make it to Church on Easter...and my church (the one I grew up in) has been there for me every step of my life.
Its difficult for me to go into church sometimes, as its where I found out my dad had died (I was 16) and its where I watch my mother cry every time she went to church...so its sad. UNITIL I get into the actual sanctuary...then I picture my mother sobbing --so its difficult.
BUT, I am determined to not let past memories bring me down...So, I put on a smile and go inside.
Inside for me became magical. I forgot all about my woes and just watched the choir and choir director do their stuff. The best choir in the world---and the best music too.
After Church, coffee, tea and homemade desserts greeted us all, as we talked to friends near and far. Next year I think I will go---in fact...you may see me more.
It has been almost two months since I've had the inclination, determination and the desire to write. I don't know why it left me for a while-but the good thing is I am back!
The past two months I have had the pleasure to see true friendship and love come into my life. People who need me, but also helped me. I have been the taker, instead of the taken.
I went on a cruise to the Panama Canal and had a wonderful time and ate up to three desserts a day. Yes, on a cruise you can eat, eat and eat some more. You want breakfast and a side of breakfast too? Yes, the cruise makes it so easy to eat so much that sometimes you have to say NO. No to room service, no to the third dessert. No to anything more--I'm just drinking some hot tea, or cold tea, or cold water and sitting on the balcony reading--waiting for dinner or afternoon tea.
I also have decided to let go and let God when it comes to everything in my life. I'm not pushing to get ahead, or slow down. I'm taking every day as it comes, writing down my 10 blessings a day and thanking God for everything.
I might even go to Church on Easter Sunday...
Although I won't name them--these women have proved beyond a shadow of a doubt--they love me and care about me and their gifts truly show me how much. I have been on Food Stamps for a few months now and although it is great to know I will not starve to death--it's sad because I can work--I just can't find a job--and can't do my Organizing business full time because I don't have a car that is dependable.
Even as I write this, I'm scared that my car will die--and I don't even have AAA---Im just glad I have car insurance.
So, I do my own thing, and sell my mothers stuff on ebay, organize clients (when they don't cancel) and try to keep my head above water...and I'm doing it. What I'm not doing is paying any of my bills--since last July when my car died and I couldn't afford to have it fixed. (It needs a new transmition) but I still drive it around New Britain...and sometimes I even go as far as WH.
But, my friends have been there for me. The other ones have said to me when I called up so sad wanting to kill myself--one of them said: I could say Do IT--but I wont. Why would I want to be friends with these people--when I have friends that truly are wonderful to me.
So, let this be a lesson: Take care of yourself first, then take care of everyone else. I put everyone else first---and the people I put first, now place me on the list of last. Oh well--Live and Learn!
It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you, its what YOU believe that is true. I am so filled with joy and happiness and nothing has changed except my attitude. I have a lot to be angry about, but I'm taking the higher road. I'm doing what Michael (and my parents) would want me to do. Enjoy your life, because you just don't ever know when it will end. Enjoy the sip of tea, be grateful for the Capitol Lunch hot dogs that filled your stomach as well as your loved ones.
Be grateful now. Be happy now. Be in the moment now. I am.